


Lacuna (Newtmas)

by sarcastictear



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-07 05:09:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12226416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarcastictear/pseuds/sarcastictear
Summary: lacunaləˈkjuːnə/noun1. an unfilled space; a missing part.





	1. Chapter 1

I actually don't know why I am even here. People tell me, including my parents, that I have Depression. 

As they sent me to the clinic, around seven months ago, I didn't even really know what that meant. I heard about it but I never had something to do with it. Not even through one of my friends. It just came out of nowhere.  
"You have Depression, accept it."

How should I accept it without a proper explanation? Honestly I never was really happy with my life but who is these days? My life was okay before they sent me here. I never thought about ending my life and never thought of hurting myself. I actually liked my life a lot.

My parents don't even visit me because they think it would be better for me. Better for me to get well again and get safe through my Depression. The only one who visits me and looks after me, everyday, is Newt. The person who understands me the best and also thinks that my parents talk bullshit about my non existent mental illness.   
I really appreciate him for supporting me and helping me getting through this mess where I don't belong to.

Newt also still loves me for who I am and thinks I'm totally fine. He tried plenty of times to get me out of here but he never succeeded, obviously.  
I just want to leave this place and continue living my life as before. I miss my boyfriend, my friends, my room, my school, my classmates and spending time with my family. I can't believe that my parents ruined my life and sent me here for nothing.

"Thomas? Do you even listened to what I just said?"   
I blinked a few times and looked at the woman in front of me.   
"Honestly, no."   
She sighed and closed her notebook.  
"You know you will never get better when you're not paying attention."   
She shook her head and looked right into my eyes, trying to find out what I was thinking about.  
"You want to go back home, don't you?"  
I scoffed and glared at her.  
"Of course I want to! I'm totally fine and I don't need to get better."   
She sighed again and started to get really annoyed.  
"Depression is invisible and hard to understand. You just think that you don't have it because you don't know about it. Just accept it and try to get better so you can go home."  
I slowly nodded and just stood up to leave. I was way too tired to discuss with her about my "mental illness" so I just left the room and made my way to my comfort zone.  
Minho, my roomate, greeted me nicely as I came in. He was reading a book, I think it's called 'How to stop time', and just looked up for a second as I entered and immediately continued reading. He was really a bookworm. It wasn't like that it annoyed me that he was one. It's just like he's reading the whole time, the whole day and the whole night. I actually never saw him without a book in his hands. I also don't want to say that reading is bad. Reading is one of the most amazing things you can do. Mostly when you're inside of this horrible clinic to clear your mind, trying not to drive crazy.

We don't talk that much in general because Minho thinks I'm weird. And I just know that because I heard him talking about me. But that was completely fine for me because I think they're just thinking I'm actually depressed and belong in here because I start to get weird in here. When you're stuck with strange people you turn into a strange person too. And I don't need any friends so they can talk as much about me as they want to.  
I threw myself onto my bed and breathed deeply in and out.   
"Can you turn off the light? I want to sleep."   
I mumbled into my pillow, hoping Minho would hear me.  
"Nope, I want to read. And it's 5pm, why do you want to sleep already?"  
I sighed and rolled to the side to look at him. That's what I meant. He barely sleeps and just reads. Even if it's just 5pm, I'm tired. And guess why? Because of an guy who is reading books all night. "Because I'm tired? Why else should I want to sleep?"   
I snapped and groaned as he rolled his eyes. What a stubborn ass.  
"Fine, I will just look if Newt is here and sleep later."   
I stood up and opened the door, while Minho just looked at me, shaking his head. I just left without another word, walking to the meeting room.  
I already saw Newt smiling brightly at me, pulling me instantly into a hug. He's literally here at any time. As if he would live here just for me.  
"How are you?"  
he whispered and ruffled my hair. I smiled at him.  
"I'm honestly good but this place wants me to throw up."  
I sighed and rolled my eyes, taking his hand.  
"I really want to get out of here, Newt."  
I whined. He nodded, showing me that he understand what I meant.   
"I want you to get out of here too, Tommy. It's awful to see you suffering in this place."   
he pulled me into a hug again. This time it was a long and comforting hug until a voice of a men interrupted us.  
"Visitors need to leave, now."   
I pouted at Newt and he gave me a sweet and lovely kiss, pressing his lips gently against mine and they fit perfectly together. But it just felt like seconds. As soon as the kiss end he was gone.

And as he left and I headed back to my room I realized how much I was an emotionless mess without him. Without Newt I really was a mess. And maybe that's it what I needed to change.


	2. Chapter 2

I am in pieces.  
I'm inside this mess for ages now, I stopped counting. And I stopped hoping to get out. I really was hopeless even If I told Newt I wasn't. I let him believe that I'm still fighting to get out. But actually I'm just slowly giving up. It seems impossible inside here. Everyday is the same. The same routine, the same therapy, the same questions everyday. After a rough day Newt tells me that I'm healthy and full of life and the next day the doctors tell me that I'm getting worse.

I honestly don't know what to believe in anymore.

I start to think of theory's why I got put in here. My first idea is that I'm seriously not ill and completely fine and they just put me in here so I start questioning my mental health. Maybe I'm just turning crazy because of everyone else in here. Because when you're surrounded by people like this you turn into one of them. And maybe my parents just wanted to get rid of me, finding now a reason to put me in here because I'm homosexual.  
Let's be honest: It would make sense but it's still wrong to me.

My second idea is: That I am actually mentally ill and just don't see it or don't want to see it? Maybe I am already crazy and just don't notice it or don't want to notice it because Newt is keep telling me that I'm fine?  
But it's so ridiculous actually. If something would be wrong with me I would notice it, am I right? It's like when I notice that I'm getting a cold for example. I'm realizing that I'm getting ill and need to go to the doctor soon. So if I get mentally ill I must notice it too. I mean just because it's mentally doesn't mean it's not really there. It is there so I must feel it. 

All my theory's are driving me crazy and it hurts my brain so much that I get a headache almost every night. And these aches are so awful that I'm screaming a lot at nights. I just can't handle this pain. Minho was fine with this at first because he believes in my Depression too and finally thought I would accept it but soon got to talk about me again.

Honestly now it really starts to bother me, that he's talking about me again. At first I ignored all these comments about me because I believed in the fact that I'm completely fine but now I'm questioning my health. It's exhausting and stressful because I can literally talk to no one. Of course I could speak with an therapist but he wouldn't really care. He would just finally sigh in relief that I agreed to my Depression and wouldn't listen to my actual problem.

So I stay silent, except at night, and cry myself to sleep over and over, not knowing what wrong with me.

I wish my parents never sent me here. I hate them for sending me here. I really hate my parents for what they did. Even if they just thought that what they did is right, it's still messing up my whole life. I'm also hating my friends for doing nothing about it. No one is visiting me. No one is asking for me. No one is caring about me. I miss my old life more than ever. 

I took a deep sigh.  
"I don't know anymore."  
Minho looked up from his book, lightly rolling his eyes again. He was the one who was always annoyed by me because he is experiencing everything about what I'm doing. And he still believes to 250% that I have Depression and that I need serious help even if I don't really know why. "Seriously Thomas." he closed his book and put it next to him, looking at me. I slowly removed my hands from my face and tilted my head to look back at him. It was weird seeing him without a book in his hands. "What?" I mumbled.

"Since you are here you keep denying that you have Depression. Everyday you are saying the same words: "I am completely fine and I don't need help." But you know what? You're not. And it seriously annoys me that you're lying to yourself. I mean why are you doing this? You're getting nowhere with this shit. You're just stopping yourself from getting better and yes, you need to get better. Don't you see how mentally bad you are right now? Just look at yourself. You're looking like a literal mess. And even if your weird boyfriend, who doesn't even exist, tells you that you're fine and that you look good, you're not. He is lying. He is your subconscious that tries to convince you to keep believing in being fine." he gasped for air as he finished with his giant speech and looked right into my eyes, hoping to have opened my eyes. I couldn't believe in what he just said.

"Are you completely dumb?" I sat up, glaring at him, speaking a bit too loud. "Of course Newt exist! He is my fucking boyfriend and the only bloody person who is visiting me. The only person who is actually caring for me. My parents are giving a shit about me since they put me in here!" I yelled out and a few tears of anger rolled down my cheeks. Minho was a bit surprised about me yelling at him. It seemed like he wanted to say something at first but he then just shrugged and took his book again, continue reading.  
I stood up, still in completely anger and left the room. I breathed in and out, trying to calm down as I hurried to the visiting room where Newt probably waited for me. As always.

I saw him smiling at me as I entered the room and I just ran up to him to pull him into a big hug. "I missed you, love." I mumbled into his shoulder. "I missed you too, Tommy." he chuckled and slowly let go of me. He frowned a little by looking at me. "You seem angry, are you alright?" he asked softly and stroked my hair out of my face. I immediately smiled at him and nodded. "I'm fine."


	3. Chapter 3

9 Minutes. I've waited 9 Minutes for Newt to pick up my call. He didn't show up here today to visit me as usual. I was hoping to talk to someone normal today but he didn't appear. So I asked for permission to call someone to contact him. And he just picked up after 9 Minutes. Before I got here he always answered my call right away. But today he didn't. It shouldn't bother me that much because it sounds really ridiculous but I couldn't help but was worried.

"Tommy?", he whispered and sounded actually surprised. I stayed quiet for a few moments until I said something. "Why weren't you here today?", I asked, kind of mad and hurt. More disappointed, honestly. Newt took a deep breath. "I am so sorry, Tommy. Your mom forced me to stay here and she is not allowing me to visit you anymore. She went seriously crazy and I don't even know why I'm not allowed to see you. I'm so sorry.", he explained, still whispering. Probably because my mom was still with him to look after him that he doesn't drive to the clinic.

I nodded until I realized that Newt couldn't even see me nodding. "I'm glad you understand. Please don't be mad at me. It was probably the idea of the doctor and they told your mom to keep me here for your own best.", Newt added, still keeping his voice low.

Now I got really angry and instantly ended the call, standing up from the chair next to the telephone. Why are they forbidding me to meet Newt? He's the only one who is lighting up my day and helps me to get through this while no one else does. My eyes felt like they were burning and I knew I was about to cry. It was this feeling like you are drowning. I hurried out of the room and walked up quickly the hallway so no one could see me cry. They would interpret every little bad thing into my imaginary illness and would've finally a reason to keep me here.   
I can't let them see how weak I get.

I quickly opened the door and stumbled into my room, closing the door immediately. Minho was reading his stupid book, as always. I think it's his third book of this week because at Monday he was reading 'I'll give you the sun' and now he is suddenly reading 'All the bright places'. Actually I really like the fact that he's reading a lot. I used to read a lot of books too and even wrote Story's by myself but meanwhile I'm seriously just too lazy to get anything done. It's just like, I would've liked that Minho gives me some attention as a.. good friend, maybe? I know he's not really interested in me as a person and doesn't really likes me but I thought we could get along as good roommates.

But he's giving a shit about me. He pretended to care about me the first few months until he realized I'm just not listening to him. We didn't even talk for days and we're just ignoring each other. He has his own friends and I have Newt, who is visiting me everyday expect on this day.

That Newt couldn't visit me was still bothering me and I was still really mad. I decided to walk out to ask someone about this. I'm barely talking to someone here and I didn't see my therapist for weeks because I refuse to talk to her about pointless things. 

I made my way out of this room and straight to someone who is working here. The person was called 'Janson' and he looked like he knows about me. "What can I do for you, boy?" he asked me in a lightly intimidating voice. "My boyfriend couldn't visit me today because someone said it would be better for my health. But actually is he the one who is helping me the most. This shit here isn't even helping me a little. It's just making things worse." I said out loud and glared at him. He was nodding, slowly. As if he pretends to understand. "Well, I think it's really better for your health. I mean you're obviously gay and this is really making a lot of things worse, right? Now you have to deal with two mental illnesses: Depression and Homosexuality." he paused for a moment while I looked at him, shocked. "I'm so sorry for you. I wish I could help you out real quick. You better just go back to your room and wait for tomorrow to talk to your therapist again." After this he quickly walked away. Myself was still standing in the hallway, almost crying, almost having a breakdown. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks and literally feeling like they're burning my skin. I got back into my room and instantly dropped myself into my bed, crying loudly.

I don't care if Minho wanted to read or was confused.  
I don't care about this whole clinic and all these people.

"I don't care about myself anymore." I whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

It was 3 am. The red, bright numbers of the analog clock lighten up in the darkness. It was the only thing I could see. The only thing that was showing me how fucked up I must be, because I'm wide awake at 3 am. I should be asleep and I'm supposed to wake up in 3 hours. I should be okay, lie at home in my own comfortable bed, should watch my favourite tv show with Newt and should be a peacefully living person.

But I don't live the life I want to. And I'm tired of getting used to. What can I do? Nothing. I accepted that I wasn't really that okay but that doesn't mean that everyone was right before. It means that I got worse inside the clinic and that it's their fault that I ended up like this.

And guess what? From what they thought what would be better for me it just got terribly worse. I got onto a deep, hurting level and I still don't want to realize why they did this. I've seen Newt weeks ago. I don't know how he's feeling, doing or thinking right know. They cut the contact between him and me completely and it's truly the worst thing they could've done to me and Newt.

I really hope that he's well and fine. Even if he found someone else,  it would be okay. I want him to feel good and save.

4:00 am.  
The red numbers made me agressive. How hard they burn in my eyes because they're the only light and thing I could see. The only thing that reflects my hopeless, lost self. I moved to the edge of my bed, trying to grab the clock from out of my bed. As I finally hold the clock in my hand I immediately threw it against the wall.

I was so angry. My breathing was fast, I felt hot and cold at the same time, I didn't see a thing and I was lost in my thoughts full of anger.

And that just because of a clock I threw against the wall.

The light turned on. Minho was awake. I was awake. Maybe everyone was awake? People standing in the door. Ava. Ava Paige. Minho and her looked at me. He groaned as he saw the destroyed clock on the floor and Ava shook her head lightly. "Thomas, are you okay?" she asked in a soft and calming tone.

I nodded and looked at the clock. "I am okay." I whispered and forced me to a smile. My thoughts said I was okay. And maybe I was really. She nodded at my answer but stayed in the room, still standing in the door. "Alright. You gonna clean this up in the morning, alright? After you did that I want you to come to me. I need to talk to you."

My body was burning inside and my voice cracked as I spoke. "Sure.." She left the room as fast as she came in and Minho was still, fully awake, sitting on his bed and glaring at me. "You're not getting better in lying, Thomas." It was the only thing he said as he turned his back to me and fell asleep again.

A sigh left my lips and I lied down again, turning off the light and closingnmy eyes. I couldn't look at the time and didn't know how much time I had left to sleep. I just fell asleep. I didn't know how long it took me and I didn't know how long I slept.

What I knew was that I was deeply tired on the next day. Almost fell asleep every 5 minutes while cleaning up the mess I created the last night.

Minho already told everyone, as always. I was used to it and truly okay. I mean it was weird. Really weird. And I can't blame him for being really confused about this. If he would do something really random in the night I would also be confused as fuck. Well, I wouldn't tell everyone but that's just because I don't have any friends here to share any roomate stories with.

The hallways were empty, cold and white as always. It almost scared me the first day when I came here but it's just a hallway. No paranormal shit, no ghosts and no fucking scary creatures. Just a damn, boring hallways.

Even if I don't have a lot of friends I know a lot about everyone. I know that Marie, a few rooms next to me, dealed with drugs and mobbed someone to death. It ended with suicide. And even if she pretends to be sorry and hurt. She's not. I know it and no one else does. Maybe I'm not a very social but be careful with your secrets my lady.

And I know that everyone is terrified of these hallways. As I said: Normal hallways. But somehow everyone seems to be scared to walk alone. Because I am alone I just have to but no one else is doing that.

As I got to the room of Ava I didn't even knock on the door and just walked in. Totally random and not even lightly respectful. Luckily she was alone and I didn't really interrupted her. "You wanted to talk to me."  
She nodded.


	5. Chapter 5

It worked perfectly fine without a single word. I knew I had to sit down, so I sat down. I knew I had to be quiet until she speaks, so I waited. She kept on writing something. I didn't know on what though but it seemed to be a private thing that has nothing to do with the clinic or her job in general.

"Thomas." she looked up, focusing me with her cold eyes which made me feel frosty, lightly. "Ava." I looked back, with my brown, dark eyes who had no special effect on her.  
"How do you feel?"   
I raised my eyebrow and sighed deeply. "This question," I rolled my eyes. "..Again?" I added and leaned forward. "I'm still completely fine. You can keep my beautiful boyfriend away from me, can keep me here for another 1 year and treat my like a confused shit. Still I will stay fine. I've always been fine and will ever be."

She didn't say anything again and just shook her heard, chuckling. It made me upset.  
"This is what I want to talk with you about, today." She was serious and not even quite joking. "What?" was my question and "Your life." her answer.

"My life was great before I got here." I crossed my arms, annoyed. "Tell me about your life then." I took a slow, deep breathe, focusing her and leaned forward again.

"Before I got here I had bunch of friends, who supported me in any kind of way. I spent half of my lifetime with them and experienced the best memories with them. I remember how they have always been there for me. Gally, Fry, Teresa, Chuck and Brenda. They are the best. Even though I don't know why they never visited me here." my voice dropped for a second. "Anyways, I also had my beautiful boyfriend, Newt, who visited me everyday here. He always helped me going through a lot of shit. Either it was school or private stuff. He always listened to me and understood me the best. Still I can't believe why you would take him away from me. Newt makes me incredibly happy and would instantly help me out of this. Why aren't you letting me see him?"  
I stopped talking and looked at Ava. She was taking notes and looked sad as she raised her head. 

"Listen Thomas, Newt isn't helping you in any kind of way. Honestly he is just making everything worse as it actually is."  
Of course she thinks that. Of course everyone thinks that!

Minho, Ava, my parents and everyone else. What about me? What do I think?  
Are they blind or dumb?  
Newt is the best thing that ever happened to me.

But no.

I shook my head. "Be quiet and stop lying, that's really annoying." I whispered and looked down. "Excuse me?" she was upset. So was I.  
"I said shut up. You all pretend like Newt is the person who caused all of this but that's not true! He would be the person who would cause to get me out of here!"

"I used to dream of adventures with him." I paused and I felt how tears came up in my eyes. "It would be okay as long as I would be with him." I bet she didn't understand a damn thing I said through my loudly sobbing, covering half of my face with my hands.

 

Ava didn't move and watched me crying.  
The room was completely silent except for me, sobbing loudly. 10 Minutes.. or 30?  
I was crying for years. All these tears I saved over the whole year came out now.   
I am fine. Everyone cries in their life so it's normal. Everything is okay.

I started to calm down. Kind of. "I'll be good. I promise." She sighed and shook her head again. "Not like this, Thomas." she looked sad. Almost as if she would feel my pain. But she didn't and she will never. She's not caring about anyone. Not me.

"What do my parents think of this mess, huh? Why did they never visit me?"  
She stood up and looked down at me. Ava seemed way bigger than before and I gonna admit that she scared me a bit.

"That's what I want to tell you now.", she nearly whispered. I looked at her and couldn't look away. I was afraid.  
"Your parents are actually here."  
I raised my eyebrow, looking confused and let out a big "Huh?".  
"Now."


	6. Chapter 6

"Where are they?" I stood up, heading to the door. Ava panicked and quickly walked up to me, pulling me back by my arm.  
"Just wait." she said, almost whispering.  
I rolled my eyes and sat down once again. "I'm not waiting any longer, so-" I couldn't even finish my sentence because I got interrupt by the sound of an opening door.

I turned around, looking at my mother who looked back at me with a sad face, opening the door carefully. "Hello Thomas." she said quietly and walked in, slowly. My father was following right behind her but kept a straight face without saying a word. Anger came up inside me and I was close to explode, blaming them for everything what happened to me in a bad way.

Ava greeted them kindly and asked them to sit down by her side so they could look at me. I was trying not to show any expression on my face and glared at them. "So.. Thomas. Your parents just want to tell you everything from what happened and what caused you to get here." Ava explained and seemed kind of nervous. I just kept looking as before and as no one said something for a while my mother began to talk..

"It's been almost a year, Thomas and I am dearly sorry for putting you inside this clinic and let you go through such a hard time alone without really knowing what happened. That's part of your illness, that you can't really remember what happened to you. Not especially you but the things that happened which effected you in a huge way. First of all you fell in love.."  
"With Newt, yes. And I still am in love with him, Mother." I snapped and rolled my eyes.  
She closed her eyes for a second and nodded slowly. "Yes.. Anyways. I have nothing against your relationship with him, Thomas. I'm not against you, being gay and not against anything like that. He made you happy and that was the only thing that mattered to me." I leaned forward. "He makes me happy."  
She started to ignore my comments. "But Newt got depressed and he was on a really bad level. Do you remember how he argued with you over every dumb thing without a reason? How he hurt himself in any kind of way? How he barely called and visited you because he was just in a bad mood ? Do you remember how he tried to kill himself..-?"

"STOP!" I jumped from my chair, almost crying. "YOU ARE LYING." I yelled and breathed heavily. "Newt is fine and always was fine. I would've noticed this! I'm not dumb!" Tears started forming in my eyes and my head started to hurt.

"He jumped from a bridge and injured his leg. Do you remember that? You did notice everything, darling. You were the one who called an ambulance and visited him in the hospital. I remember how you spent 3 weeks in a row there, sleeping on the chair next to his bed." she smiled lightly. My breathing got heavier with every thing she said and it started to hurt real bad. 

"After he got better from his attempt he ended up in this exact same clinic. Just like you. You visited him everyday."  
My sight turned blurry and I barely understood her. I was tumbling and tripped against the wall, pressing my hands against my ears to avoid my mother talking. "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN." I was lying to myself. Memories started to come back. I saw Newt jumping from the bridge. Newt being tired because he didn't sleep for days. Newt avoiding my calls everyday. Newt how he told me he doesn't want to live anymore. New who really needed my help and I did nothing.

"He was here for 7 months and as you maybe remember he hated it here. Hated every second of everyday. Hated this place so much and he just wanted to get out, no matter how." I pressed my hands harder against my ears and slit down the wall, leaning my head on my knees. "STOP IT. SHUT UP. SHUT UP."

"And when you visited him for the last time here were he was on a really low level, he asked you to do something for him. He begged you to kill him. To end his pain and set him free from this world. He was sick from it. Sick from everything and he saw no hope in your relationship. No hope in everything."

I screamed on top of my lungs and begged her to stop talking and just to shut up. Ava meanwhile called doctors to calm me down but they weren't here yet. "MOM I HATE YOU."

"And you did kill him. You felt so bad for him and you just wanted the best for your lovely, sweet boyfriend. You killed Newt. You ended his bloody life and it's your fault that he's no longer existent in this world!" she almost screamed the last part and the two doctors rushed in. I was still crying and screaming, looking up. Newt stood in the corner right behind Ava. "HE IS NOT DEAD HE'S RIGHT THERE. BEHIND YOU!" I stood up and tumbled to the corner but the doctors pulled me back, grabbing me harshly by my arm. I tried to get out of their grip, screaming loudly. "HE IS RIGHT THERE. I DIDN'T KILL HIM! I DIDN'T!"

"We put you in here because first of all you killed someone. You got deeply depressed. You started to imagine plenty of things. You talked to voices in your head and in general you acted completely different!" my father yelled.

I shook my head and still tried to get to the corner. "NEWT SAY SOMETHING. SHOW THEM THAT YOU'RE HERE, PLEASE. NEWT HELP ME." I broke down and was trapped in many panic attacks at the same time. I could barely breathe and my sight was almost gone. "NEWT PLEASE. KILL ME. J WANT TO BE WITH YOU. I CAN'T."

Newt still stood in the corner and smiled at me. Everything got silent somehow even though I was still screaming and crying loudly. I clearly understood what Newt said.  
"I've always been here. Stuck in the same place, Tommy." he whispered and lowkey started to disappear. 

"NEWT STAY WITH ME. PLEASE. I NEED YOU." I yelled and hit everything around me, freaking out completely. I felt a needle in my arm and my breathing turned less heavy. I still saw Newt and he was almost gone. "Newt please. I need you. We can do that somehow! Please don't go. I LOVE YOU."

The doctor pushed me down and I started to get tired. Tears still streamed down my face and I was extremely shaking. Newt was still smiling at me until he disappeared completely and myself was falling asleep.


	7. Playlist

♪anxious - nohidea, atlas, limbo

♪help me out - alicks

♪let me die - lil happy lil sad

♪lazy sad - ford., sophie meiers, hanz

♪where's my love - syml

♪youth - daughter

♪wooden floorboards - hotel books

♪i'll be good - jaymes young

♪waves - dean lewis

Just songs I listened to while writing chapters for this short fanfiction and which kind of inspired/motivated me to write more.


End file.
